Monty is back! Yayyyyy! AOL has finally taken pity on him, evidently.

And he has provided us with this (slightly odd) gem.

Still, if it's possible to choke to death with laughter I died several hours ago.

The boys in the video are Ed McLaren (comedic genius who left Pate's - damn him) and another guy I don't know.

Enjoy!

Oh my God.

My day just got so much better.

I went and got a DVD for Joe's birthday today.

I was asked for ID.

Again.

I can just tell this is going to become a recurring event in my adult life, I just know it; I'll end up like Mum, who went to a bar when she was 26 and the barman refused to get her a beer.

How much are Petite clothes, anyway?


Anyway, as I mentioned, tomorrow is Joe's 17th birthday and, you guessed it, a monumental piss-up has already been planned for tonight, down at the Scout Hut. Joe asked me if I wanted to come along, which is quite nice of him really, but why on earth would I want to? From what I can tell, the whole thing just seems to be a massive throng of seventeen year olds getting blind drunk, and listening to the music that they'll be playing on the sound system.

That's it.

Now I'm all for having a celebration, but that sounds so boring. When I have birthday parties I like doing things. This just seems to be people *hanging around* for hours.

And I don't know any of his friends anyway. They're just those random guys who I see hanging around the house from time to time. Once I came home from school and found about six of them huddled together smoking in the garden.

But still, it's always amusing to see Joe drunk; he becomes friendly and nice and amiable, which is quite something.

*sigh*...bored, bored, bordey bored...Tash is in Wales, Diana and Kat are revising Die-Hard for Latin, but we have said we're all going to see The Da Vinci Code on Friday. I'm half-wishing we couldn't now; everyone says it's a crap film.

Ho hum. Had better skadoodle now. Joe is roping me in to fix the sound system for the "party". God knows why; last time I tried to work his Hi-Fi I got my feet tangled in the various leads and tripped over.

Enjoy Doctor Who!

P.S. I know I ought to, but I DO NOT like David Tennant with a quiff. I really don't.

Bebo, Chemistry, and the woes of balloons.

I have two burning questions:

One, what the frigging HELL is Bebo, and
Two, why has everyone in the world and their cousin invited me to "join" them?

Is is some kind of cult that I don't know about?

And explain this; why is God's name has JOE invited me to join? He's my brother! He lives in the same house as me! He's less than ten feet away from me at this very moment! (Give or take a wall.)

The world has gone nuts. Again. Still, it's been a very good day. Don't you just love those days where you laugh hundreds and hundreds of times? Well, I had one of them, and it was SO fun.

We had Chemistry today, where we were bidding a farewell to Mr Butcher who was leaving (mid-term, and he's by far our best teacher, damn him). This farewell involved a massive card with messages from all of us, balloons, and two cakes. (Don't ask - I wasn't trusted with any of the organisation.)

Anyway, before Mr Butcher came in we'd each managed to blow up a balloon and, with nowhere else to hide them, we had to unconvincingly conceal them under our feet. Then he came in, before Claire had managed to successfully hide the cakes, which meant that she had to shove the cakes under the desk as well. We're all mad as...mad...cuckoo things.

Needless to say, none of the girls could concentrate, and at every nuance we just broke into complete hysterical laughter, which wasn't exactly sly. We spent the first half of the lesson watching Claire trying to sneak both of the cakes into the sink next to her whenever Mr Butcher turned to write on the board, which wasn't often.

Then, about half-way through the lesson, when we'd just about managed to conceal the cakes and stop laughing, there came a massive BANG from Sean's direction. Everyone jumped, including Mr Butcher. Picture it if you will:

Mr Butcher: What the hell was that???

Claire: Um...er...

Amber: I think Kat fell off her chair.


Then, when the second BANG came from suspiciously near me, we decided there was no more point prolonging it, so we all went mad with balloons and cake and the card, and Mr Butcher was very touched. Well, I hope he was; we'd made enough of an effort.

...then we had Biology which wasn't nearly as good and yielded no laughs at all.

Then English, which involved the usual pre-lesson play fight between Dom, Chris, Theo and Rory. (Well, Dominic chased them around the classroom and Rory leapt around saying, "Oh God, oh God, oh God!") , the effect of which was slightly marred when Dom blundered into the English storeroom and Mark shut the door on him.

...which meant that when Ms Reid came in (and Mark abruptly withdrew his foot from the door) she was greeted to the sight of Dom banging into fresh air shouting, "MARK, YOU B- Oh, hello Ms Reid."


And I know that doesn't sound the least bit funny to *you*, but the whole day was hilarious. It was great. I really felt incredibly happy. I love those days.

Then I had two GCSEs. And one wasn't brilliant. And the other one was good. But we won't go into that.

I leave you with the quote of the day:

Mum: [Talking about her family.] I know, I know; they're all martyrs, and I know I'll be too. My ankles are playing up already.

Right...my turn!

I am Rosby the Wonderful, madder than the maddest hatter on the earth. And beyond.

I want to go home and have some toast.

I wish David Tennant would shave that bloody beard off!!!

I hate Ben Gabbot, quiche, rice pudding, war, and George Bush.

I love sausages, spaghetti, church bells, English and my friends...I suppose...

I miss easy times at Primary School.

I fear coffins. There's something about them that freaks me out!

I hear that Tom Thurlow is willing to give £3000 to whoever gives him that silver thing from the Kit Kats that gets you into Big Brother. Weirrrd...

I wonder about the meaning of life, why I live, and how everything started. And what Jake Gyllenhaal is doing at the moment.

I regret buying "Wild Child". Crappest book ever written!

I am not sane, rational or logical. (The latter word contributed by The Mashmeister.) (Tash)

I dance awfully when no one's watching.

I sing every second of every hour of ever day of every month of every year.

I cry whenever I watch Brokeback Mountain.

I write about everything and anything, but never finish any of it.

I confuse people with my random advice and mad statements. (E.G. "My arm is about the size of a...small...fish!")

I need a better memory.

I start writing feeling fresh and energised.

I finish writing this with my back aching and Tash bored beyond belief.

I tag Marie, Lisa, and Anna.

Does that not *supremely rule*? Ha!

Skittles' challenge.

Daniel Radcliffe to Billie Piper?

Easy. Easy.

Daniel Radcliffe > Harry Potter > Robbie Coltrane
Robbie Coltrane > From Hell > Johnny Depp
Johnny Depp > Pirates of the Carribbean > Orlando Bloom
Orlando Bloom > The Calcium Kid > Billie Piper!

Oh my God. I'm...I'm...I'm...A FREAK!

*runs away sobbing*

It's been a crap-spewing few days.

Rosby: God, Hitler was a bastard.
Tash: Well, he wasn't. But he was. Technically he wasn't. But he really was.

[Comforting Rosby on her 39% Physics test result.]
Tash: Well if you think about it, 39 is nearly 40, which is nearly 50, which is a pass!

[Comforting Rosby on her 18% Biology test result.]
Kat: It's like Tash said; 18 is nearly 20, which is a fifth, which is nearly 40, which is nearly 50, hey presto, you're done!

Rosby: Brokeback Mountain is a great film...
Rosy: THE APPLE PIE DOUBLED IN SIZE!!!
[Long, long pause.]
Rosy: OK, carry on.

Rosby: [During a debate.] Look, Brokeback Mountain is more than just "bum-sex in a teepee" as you so eloquently put it...
Imogen: No no no, you're right, it's not; it's several bum-sex sessions in teepees in a variety of different locations.

Kat: [Doing a Physics poster.] I'll just underline important words like "nebula." I don't know what a nebula is, but I'm sure I'll find out.

Kat: I LOVE OUTLINING!!!

Tash: [Laughing at something.] Ha ha ha ha ha OW OW OW MY BACK!!

Marie: I, on the other hand, will be spending the evening in Cecil Sharp House, home of British folkdancing, watching the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain.


But frankly, not meaning to toot my own horn, I think the quote below is the best. It caused hysteria on the bus, anyway. Or maybe our bus is just sad.

Rosby: According to The Guardian, we go to one of the top five schools in the country. What did we do in Biology today? We grew virtual tomatoes and watched a Frenchman called Julian lick his elbow.

Farewell, friends.

"Anything interesting up there in heaven?"
"I was just sending up a prayer of thanks."
"For what?"
"For you wearing those tight tight jeans, my friend."

*loud and unnattractive snort*

Sometimes you can't help but make fun...














But still...awww, that is a lovely moment there...I just wish you could see the body that hand is attached to.

Hmm. What's the betting that Marie was cloned a hundred times, transformed and is now hankering for a snog - the dangerous way?

"Come heerreee...we just want to neck youu!"

"NOOOOO!!! Must...get...away...!"

"It won't take long!"

"I don't care; I'll get an electric shock!"

"We can turn it off; come on, please!"

"Rose, HANG ON!"

"YOU ARE COMPATIBLE; YOU WILL BE SNOGGED."

"Argh...um...oh look over there, there's Kip Gamblin!"

"What? Where?"

The Doctor bolts it.

"Oh bugger. Damn. Still, at least we've got Mickey as back-up. Wait, hang on, he's gone. Crap! This is so unfair! We may be large cyber machines, but we're only Marie underneath, we just want to be loved..."

Prolonged sobbing.

I couldn't help it, all right?

It's been a very lazy day today; I've been on my own most of the time, BECAUSE...*drum roll*, Mum and Dad are finally going to collect this boat that has been languishing at my Aunt's house for God knows how long now, and they are taking it to the sailing club.

I know I should be happy, but I think the whole idea is a bit...stupid. We're just not a boating family! We're not! We'd never use it! It'd be used like crazy for a while then we just wouldn't have time, etc. I'm *certainly* not a boating girl, and there's no way I'm going to be converted. I just think that after a while the thing will just fade out of existence, like my old toy box. What ever happened to it...?

I'm not even sure how we managed to get it, either. I think my Uncle gave it to us, for free. God knows why; their family are exercise and sport central, unlike us.

Anyway, enough about the boats.

By hanging around in Smith's for about an hour, I managed to skim my way through Jacqueline Wilson's new book, Love Lessons. And, despite my initial doubting (I have a long-standing disdain of her books, on the basis that they are all the same), this one was actually pretty good. It did have quite a few flaws, obviously, but the plotline was actually fairly unique, and the ending was just heart-breaking.

But seriously; would it kill her to use different types of characters? All her books are about teenage girls and love and family problems, and all the girls talk and think and apparently write the same way. Even in this book. It gets really frustrating; every time you've read one you get deja vu to the extreme.

OK, rant over. I highly doubt anybody will comment on this post; it has been exceptionally boring after all.

But if you can, check out Lisa's attempt to catalogue mine and Marie's David Tennant musings. She has missed a couple, I think, but considering the diversity of cyberspace she's done well. Byeeeeee!!!

Bloody hell.

I've never felt more like hitting someone in my life.

Bastards.

Hello all.

Ow, ow, ow, OW, OW, ow!!!

That's it; those crappy pink shoes are going in the bin, regardless of the wonderful two-inch heels. It is far too big a price to pay for being a bit taller. My feet look as if they've been savaged!

Bush ratings down to 29 per cent???


(Thank you, God.)


(Well, you answered Michael Moore's prayers, at least.)

HA:


















Anna's take on the two Brokeback actors. And she's actually right; save for the "not quite fanciable" bit. Come on, he's a dream boat! Mmm...

Ooooohhhh, wow.

For your dedication and possible delight...

OK, creative urge is reaching overload; I have to get it out of my system.

[The Scene - a London flat. Marie is pacing up and down. Suddenly the doorbell rings. With a quick glance at her hair in the mirror, she opens the door. On the step stands David Tennant.]

David: Um...hi. You called me?

[Marie, conjuring up all her will and being, manages not to faint. Instead she smiles at David and stands aside.]

Marie: Ah yes. Please come in.

[He comes in and she shuts the door, mumbling incoherently, "Bowl of sugar..." She leads him to the kitchen and indicates a chair. He sits in it.]

David: [Nervously.] Look, what's going on? I don't know you. Why did you ask me to come round? You said it was a dire emergency...

Marie: [Sitting down facing him.] Hmm? Oh yes, I did, didn't I? Right. Well Doc - I mean David, I've been thinking a lot about this, and I've reached a conclusion, and it's only fair to let you know after all. [Beat.] I think we should get married.

David: *What*???

Marie: Now wait a moment before freaking out, just think about this; I think we're perfect for each other. I mean, I'm an up-and-coming writer, so when I get started I could write your Who scripts for you! We'd be a team! And I'm exactly the right age for you, and...and...you're gorgeous, and you could fight off the cybermen for me...or not. Well, you could put up the shelves, at least.

David: [Freaked out.] Look, um...Marie, I'm very flattered, but I'm afraid I've already got a girlfriend.

Marie: [Darkly.] Ah...Sophia.

David: Yeaahh...

Marie: Hmm.

[She leans across and opens another door, and with one hand pulls a confused Lisa out.

Lisa: Marie, what...? [She sees David.] BLOODY HELL!

Marie: This is Lisa. You could marry Lisa instead!

David: Umm...

Lisa: And what about that minor inconvenience of Cloud, Marie?

Marie: [Sotto voce.] Easily disposed of.

Lisa: Excuse me??

Marie: I said nothing...

[A door bangs somewhere. They both look up and see that David is gone. Marie sighs.]

Marie: Damn, so close...

[Suddenly with a thud and a gasp, Rosby tumbles out of the cupboard underneath the sink.]

Rosby: Gagh! Bloody hell; you need to clean under there, Marie! So, is it an all-go?

Lisa: I'm afraid not. We did try.

Rosby: [Disappointed.] Aww...

Marie: I suppose I should be grateful, really. I mean, we cannot always have what we want, even if we do try...a bit too hard. Sometimes it's better to have a goal rather than an instant solution. And plus, Sophia is a lucky, lucky girl. She deserves him. I'll just carry on watching Doctor Who and doing the standard drooling...

[Long pause. Then...]

Rosby: Have you tried Jake Gyllenhaal?



I have not truly meant to offend anyone. If you are offended, please tell me and I won't send you lot up so much next time.

I've also got to write about something else other than DT as well...

WHAT???

NOOOOOOO!!!

Ten of my most current thoughts this evening:

• Mon Dieu, je deteste le francais, et je deteste les examens aussi!
• DAMN Ang Lee and DAMN his supernatural making-me-cry power.
• God, Jake Gyllenhaal is gorgeous.
• So, obviously, is David Tennant, but WHY? WHY, GOD WHY? WHY THE BEARD??
• That soup was nice.
• I really want some toast now.
• Must avoid love-sickness re-surfacing again...must avoid love-sickness - oh, dammit.
• I should really start doing that Maths homework now...
• Big Brother in 10 days? Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no, that can't be right. Please God. Smite all those who are involved in it, the philistines.
• I am NEVER reading another Ben Elton book as LONG AS I LIVE.

Well, that episode was *fantastic* as well, but I don't think it was quite as good as the others. A bit slow-moving, really. Still, David Tennant was HILARIOUS. And another mention of "bananas are good" from Mr Moffat. And dancing, as well.

And LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY Sophia Myles!!!! She gets to snog DT in real life as well as on TV! How unfair is that? Hmph.

Hehehee:




















I loved that bit.

Anyway, must toot off. Comment, for God's sake, people!

OK, this is really creepy...

Taking a break from writing my WONDERFUL, FABULOUS, FASCINATING English essay to bring you the illusion above you ^^^.

On the image, focus on the dot in the centre and move your head towards and then away from the image.

Isn't that creepy?

Anyway, had better go and write about Simon Armitage and Carol Ann Duffy. Eurgh.

P.S. Lisa, was it you who kept on blogging about Richard Armitage? Or was it someone else? Whoever it was is going to get an e-battering because I referenced the poems of Richard Armitage throughout the entire essay, and got defamed by Ms Reid in front of the whole class. DAMN.

"You'd be better off *inside* the tent, Ennis..."

Alex, hello! Gives us a quote for the blog:

"David Tennant is a chicken."

...a phrase that is being repeated too many times down this end.

*waves to Anna, Lisa, and Marie down that "other" end* Hello, adults!

I got 8 out of 45 on a Biology test...8???? That is bad, even for me. Grrr...who invented Biology? I mean, the subject. Who's bloody idea was it to say, "Ooh, I have an idea. Let's teach the kids how the kidneys/plants/homeostasis works." WHO??? When I found out I am going to march down to his grave and cover it with paint. Or something. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...

On the plus side...

Marie met Rupert Penry-Jones! Lucky girl. He's an actor (in case you didn't know), and a gorgeous one at that. He was in Casanova too. Mmm...red and blue costumes...lucky Laura Fraser.

Me, Imogen, Alex and Rosy have been having a continual war on only one thing: Heath or Jake?

Why does no one understand that the answer is Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake??? Everyone says Heath! Everyone! Even my English teacher!

I see Heath Ledger as what my brother will be like when he grows up; everyone will think he's gorgeous (which they do now anyway) and I will still stand by my belief that he is *ugly*. (Which, again, is the truth at the moment.)

Anyway, had better go. Sorry for bad rambling; I'm bored, despondent, and I have masses of essays to do.

Peace out.

If I was ever unsure what irony was in the past, I am *definitely* sure now. Gaggghhh!!!

OK, so; about a month or so before (repeat: before, NOT after) my 15th birthday, I go and see Brokeback Mountain. I get to the cinema, ask for a ticket, and bingo, I'm in. No fuss, no suspicion, no nothing. End of.

Then today, which happens to be about two and a half months after my 15th birthday, I go into HMV and try and buy it.

AND THEY ASK FOR ID!!!!! GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!

Why did I have to have Mum's genes? Why couldn't I have been willowy, and statuesque, and tall, for God's sake? Grrrrrrrr...*shakes fist*. Why do I have to be so small and Year 7 lookalike-ish??? Why? Why???

On the plus side, the woman (at the counter - Tash was right; the men really don't care), after initial suspicion, let me buy it, so I now own a copy! Hurrah! I will watch it tonight.

God, Jake Gyllenhaal is gorgeous. Unbelievably.

An extract from The Sunday Times Culture magazine:

"Not content with introducing the Doctor to Queen Victoria, this week Russell T Davies allows the Time Lord du jour (growing in popularity in spite of Chris Eccleston's tour de force) to hook up with Madame de Pompadour (Sophia Myles) after the court at Versailles is attacked by chilling clockwork killers. Apparently the Doctor has been haunting her dreams since chldhood - a state of affairs the ranks of newly minted David Tennant fans will understand - yet it take a broken clock to summon his help."

Ah, so true...lucky Sophia Myles.

(She's his girlfriend.)

But I do rather resent being called newly-minted...what about Casanova? Blackpool??