It's a stupid idea, obviously. Completely insane; the sort of thing you get in slushy films starring Hugh Grant.

Very stupid idea.

But so bloody tempting.

If I was going to do it, I should do it now. I won't see him much after today, after all.

I really want to do it now, but it's the sort of thing I plan and never have the nerve to do. I'm too scared of his reaction.

I could do it today if I saw him; it would be over in a minute or so.

RIGHT. Am at least going to give it a shot. If I dither for too long I'll lose the nerve.

(It's obvious I'll get there and chicken out, but damn it, I've got to at least try.)

I'm off. Will report back later.

(Sorry for being cryptic and annoying - it'll keep you guessing, anyway.)