OKAY. I ADMIT IT FREELY. I think, after watching Trick or Treat, I have developed a massive crush on Derren Brown. I've suspected it for a while now, actually.

Is that weird?

I can't help it. I know he makes a living out of influencing people's minds and performing strange experiments, but he's incredibly calm and clever and sarky while he does it. Plus, y'know, gorgeous.

Hmm. I would give anything to meet him and see him in action. I find Trick or Treat fascinating and faintly terrifying - the impact on the people involved must be huge.

(I get the feeling I would fall very easily for one of his tricks; every time I watch his programme I look out for clues that he leaves early on, but I always miss a couple, and I know that it must be completely different when you're actually caught up in the moment.

David Tennant is due for a Trick/Treat soon. Christ, both of them on screen at the same time; that'll make my Friday!

Come on, Mr Brown...surely there must be some kind of experiment you could play on a group of teenagers? (I have friends who are dying to see him live and prove he's not faking it. You can never know until you see it, after all.)

(And I say the word experiment in an innocent, Derren Brown-style way, obviously.)