Ten thoughts:

• GAGH. I am never watching The Shining in the dark ever again. Christ, it gets scarier every time I see it.

• School is confusing me a bit. I seem to love it and hate it on alternate days; on one day I'll be swamped with work, triple-booked for everything and absolutely adoring it, and on other days, my hair will be standing on end and my fingernails chewed to bits. It's tough going. Still...I'm a student. Not a pupil, a student. How on earth can you beat that?

• Happy Belated Birthday, Lisa! Hope you have/had a great time.

• I am sans internet, and have been for about a week. I can't quite begin to describe just how irritating that is. My laptop is just not connecting to the network, for no reason at all. This is being typed on my Dad's laptop, which I commandeer every time he's not using it. Like now, for instance.

• Work is going well. I'm on my third week and haven't been sacked yet, so I'm counting that as a positive. I'm learning things quickly, and I'm making less of an arse of myself every time I go in.

• Speaking of arses, I have learned due to permanently full hands at school, that they are fabulous at opening doors.

• I'm seeing the beginnings of Christmas in the shops. Not full-blown, but just little hints of what is to come. Gah.

• Hmm. Anyone think he's been liasing with Jeremy Clarkson?

• Damn, damn, and furthermore damn Russell Brand. We were all set to go and see him at the Literature Festival, and he went and cancelled with two days notice. Still no sign of an apology.

• I would really, really, really, really like this book. Hugely.

Right, had better make full use of the internet whilst my Dad is in the kitchen. Will update soon. If anyone's reading.

Rosby out.

"When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name!'"